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Friday, August 19, 2005

IPIP-NEO/Political Compass Meme

Who are you? Find out for yourself.

IPIP-NEO survey here. Political Compass survey here.

Change the bio results to fit your own experience, then key in your results from the surveys between the dotted lines below.



Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: Turlock, CA, US
Religion: Agnostic/Spiritual
Occupation: Freight/Cargo
Began blogging: (dd/mm/yy):

Political Compass results:

Your political compass:
Economic Left/Right: -7.50

Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.54

IPIP-NEO results:


1. Philosophy, et cetera - - pixnaps97a2
2. Parableman - - p8r8bl9m8n18
3. Rebecca Writes -
4. Ales Rarus - - ales2112avis
5. Here I Stand - - exiled323catholic
6. Bending the Rule - - regulabenedicti
7. The Karl Show - - thekarlshow


What does all this mean? It means I'm an introverted, agreeable, extremely neurotic liberal who is somewhat open to new experiences even while he cannot control his impulses. I think that describes me pretty well.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Taize’s founder stabbed to death during service

LYON, France - Brother Roger, one of the 20th century’s leading ecumenical figures, was stabbed to death by a woman during a service on Tuesday at the Taize community he founded in eastern France, local police said.

Police said a woman stood up during a religious ceremony attended by some 2,500 people and stabbed Brother Roger three times in the throat. The 90-year-old died immediately.


This is unbelieveable to me. I only recently discovered Taize and their wonderful music (made even better by their wonderful work towards reconciliation). This shocks me in a very surprising way. It makes me consider that death can come at literally any time, even when we least expect it.

I hope that there is some kind of peaceful rest after we die, as Brother Roger has assuredly earned it.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

I've got death on my mind. Why are we so troubled by the cessation of life? Not just in humans, but in animals -- even plants. I remember being very careful to not step on any bugs as a child. I would often scold my sister, who seemed to make a habit out of crushing ants.

"Sarah Naslund! Don't you dare hurt those poor ants!"

Ah, if only there were some cosmic big brother to tell all the jerks of the world not to hurt human beings. Things would improve quickly, I bet.

I don't know where I'm going with this, so bare with me.

On second thought, don't. I'm dead on the inside right now. Thats what death is, I guess. Not existing. Not being "there" anymore. I'm not there, or even here right now. My mind is just....gone.

How long have I felt this way? Weeks? Months? Years? How long have I sulked in depression without even realizing it? Too long.

Here is a prayer by Thomas Merton. It speaks to me, even though I'm sort of ambivalent about God's existence, or, assuming that he does exist, his benevolence. The prayer of an unbeliever, the prayer of an atheist in the shadow of death.

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact
that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you. And I hope I have
that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart
from that desire. And I know that if I do
this you will lead me by the right road
though I may seem to be lost and in the
shadow of death. I will not fear, for you
will never leave me to face my perils alone.

-Thomas Merton
Thursday, August 11, 2005

1) Walk one or two miles a day

2) Eat less

Thats the plan! I've been doing it for about two or three weeks now, and I *think* that I'm seeing some preliminary results. Granted, it's not a FEEL THE BURN LOOSE 50 POUNDS IN THREE WEEKS!!!!! diet plan, but I think the methodology is sound. Burn more calories, take in less calories. Pretty logical, if you ask me.

My goal is to get under 200 pounds. I'm probably hovering around 240 right now (I don't know for sure, because I can't bring myself to get on a scale -- it's too scary). Right now, I think the motivation for my diet is at least 4 parts vanity to one part health, which is silly, because it really should be the opposite. I *know* that I'll never be thin or slender even by a generous margin, yet something compels me to not look like a complete lard-ass. This is good, as it may help with my health in the long run. Bad motivation, perhaps, yet good results. Cie la vie.

In other news, I had a good, long talk with Dan today. We must have talked about everything. In fact, we talked about so much that we really don't need to be friends anymore, since we've pretty much covered it all. ;-)

My mom and my aunt would like to scatter grandma's ashes at a resort-casino she frequented. I don't think thats a bad idea, but I did point out to my mom that perhaps grandma's still-living brothers and sisters would like to retain some of the ashes as well. My mom was surprised at this mention, as if it was an incredible shock to learn that we werent grandma's only family.

I work for the next four days. I'll enjoy the larger paycheck, but not the larger workload. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Thank you to all who left condolences in my comments section, and those who thought and prayed for me in silence. Thank you. Really, from my heart to yours. Thank you.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Grandma passed away around 7pm on Monday. As per my prediction, it still hasn't "hit me". I feel strangely numb to her passing, as if someone elses' grandma had died. I feel like a monster for feeling nothing at all.

Maybe I just need to give it time? Maybe I'm just dead on the inside....

I dunno.

The memorial is on the 20th, so maybe I'll be compelled to feel something then. One can only hope...
Monday, August 08, 2005

Yesterday, my sister and her husband moved out of the house, supposedly for good. They have their own condo across town now, while this house is absent two people (and a lot of noise).

Today, however, is the real moving day. Why? Because today is the day that it's really beginning to sink in. "That Sinking Feeling" is weird. Something traumatic will happen, a death, a birth, a breakup, etc. and you'll feel nothing for 24, maybe 48 hours. Then, quite suddenly, the reality of the situation hits your forehead and lodges itself in your brain like a diamond bullet.

"Oh wow," you say, "She's gone, and she's not coming back."

Today is like that, in so many ways. My sister and her husband are gone (a tremendous sense of Deja-Vu as I wrote those words), also, my great-grandmother is quickly approaching death. She could go at any moment as I write this, and personally, I feel a little broken up that I'm not able to be there by her side.

"She's going, and she's not coming back."

The reality of that statement hasn't hit me yet, but it will.

Sorry to be such a downer today.
Sunday, August 07, 2005

Had lunch with Jake today. Worked in the office until almost 1am trying to get our weekend sale out of the way. Fun stuff.

In other news, Jake has turned me on to Morrissey.

Is it wrong to like Morrissey?

Is it wrong?
"Never be afraid to doubt... and doubt in order that you may end in believing the truth."

"Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good." (Job 34.4)

Location: Turlock, California, United States

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." -William James, Principles of Psychology

Click for Turlock, California Forecast

  • Rev. Dr. Brad Boydston
  • Rev. Daniel Whitmarsh
  • Mr. Kevin Chang
  • Mr. Timothy Wilson, Esq.
  • The Brilliant Miss Allison Harris
  • Mr. Kirk Boydston
  • Mr. Leafar Sa'neud
  • Sir Graham Brown
  • Rev. Gordon Atkinson
  • Rev. Maggi Dawn
  • Rev. Tripp
  • Rev. Sarah Dylan Breuer
  • Fred Clark
  • David L. Rattigan
  • Velveteen Rabbi
  • The Holy Order of The North
  • Rev. Randall Friesen
  • Bene Diction

  • Resources
  • The Common Lectionary
  • Christian Resource Institute (Wesleyan)
  • Sacred Space (Jesuit)
  • Oremus (Anglican)
  • The Covenant (my home)
  • Logical Fallacies
  • Descartes' Meditations

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