The Karl Show
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Sunday, November 30, 2003
 
UHOH

Notice the blogger-ad above my website. "Body Odor" is listed as one of the searches you can preform. No doubt Blogger is trying to tell me something.
 
Saturday, November 29, 2003
 
DEEP THOUGHTS - PLEASE EXCUSE ME

I'm sorry to say, but I wince whenever I read an article like this in CT.

"Millions have been converted after seeing films about Jesus..."

Naturally, I don't worry about preaching the Gospel, not at all. I am a firm believer in the Great Commission (even if I cant spell it). But I've been told that many of these 3rd world revivals are 10 miles wide and 2 inches deep. They see an emotionally charged video, weep, and then want to learn more about the Person that they just saw. So they come up to the front and say the "sinners prayer", and then they go on their merry way.

Again, 10 miles wide and 2 inches deep. Do these "converts" really know what it means to be a follower of Christ? I'm not sure I know what it means, even living here in affluent and safe America - let alone in a place where I might be murdered for my faith. Do the missionaries spend time with these poor dalits after they make a public confession? Do they teach them in the ways of the faith?

When I have questions like this in my mind, all I can do is trust God will somehow be made known in the lives of these new Christians, and that He will give the missionaries wisdom in their work. In the end, that's all that we can really hope for.
 
 
THEOLOGY 101

So I'm reading this Theology website, when I come across this eye opening quote:

In terms of such an understanding it can be seen that the original thesis must, by definition, have been the sole or supreme reality alone, and thus does Hegel develop his ideas in this way - seeing the Absolute Mind, the self-consciousness of God, as having originally existed in isolation. However, as it is the nature, indeed the necessity of consciousness to distinguish in order to objectify itself in relation to a subject, so does the universe, standing in relation to God, become self-position.

If you can translate that for me, I'd appricate it. Sometimes I think we Christians are too smart for our own good.
 
Friday, November 28, 2003
 
I SMELL LIKE TURKEY

This really is a new expirience for me. I don't think I've ever had a Thanksgiving where I went to bed actually smelling like Turkey. Turkey the bird, that is, not the country.

All around, I'd say we had a pretty good time. Not too many times out of the year when you can legally gorge yourself. And now for some Apple Pie...
 
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
 
ZOMBIE CATS

Here's a pointless story that I thought I would share with everybody. Just to be cool.

I was on my way out the door this afternoon to go to Psychology class, when I spotted what I thought was a dead cat in my neghibors driveway. You see, because my car leaks oil like the Exxon Valdez, I'm not allowed
to park it in my driveway. Rules of The House, I guess. So I park my car in front of my neghibors
house, on the street. At least that way the street will get slick and oily while my driveway stays high and dry.

Anyway, like I said, I was walking towards my car when I spotted what looked like a dead cat in my neghibors driveway. It was a black cat - a pure black cat like mine, but thinner. The poor thing was laying there on its back with all four legs shooting straight up into the air. It's
body was contorted and twisted too, so I figured that my stupid neghibor had run over some hapless cat as he backed out of the driveway earlier that morning.

"What a doofus.", I thought, "You would think that he might have looked back onto his driveway
to see what he had just done. But no, he just kept driving along his merry way, leaving some
cat carcass to rot in the sun while he's at work."

I was already late for Psych class, so I didn't look forward to calling Animal Control to come
and pick up the body. It takes forever to get those people on the phone, and half the time it's a recording anyway.

I decided to knock on my neghibors door and see if his wife was home. If she was, maybe she could
call Animal Control and I could finally get to class.

So I walked up their driveway to knock on their door, past the "dead" cat with four legs in
the air - its eyes opened with a start! Its stiff four legs suddenly became very nimble - after jumping to
its feet and giving me an excited look, it darted away into the bushes beside their house.

So either that cat was a zombie, or it wasint dead at all. I'm thinking it wasint really dead.
It was just sleeping and sunning itself on my neghibors warm driveway. But what a weird way to sleep!?
It sure looked like it was dead from a distance. Glad it's not, I guess.

So thats my story. No moral to the story, just a Zombie Cat. That's all.
 
 
YET ANOTHER SAD DAY

I had lunch at Mr. Slice today. For those of you
who don't know, Mr. Slice is a pizza establishment here in Turlock, next door to Target. When
I arrived, I spotted a big sign on the door that said Mr. Slice would be closing down for good
on Thanksgiving day. So that makes two resturants that have closed down in Turlock in the
past two weeks. It still makes me a little sad. The slices of pizza at Mr. Slice are so big that they give you silverware
to eat them with I mean, where else can you get really huge
slices of pizza in Turlock?

As I left, I noticed another sign next to the previous sign.
Apparently, the new owners are going to open a resturant that sells alcohol. In California, every resturant
that sells Alcohol must post a notice before it opens. The new owners were already doing that, apparently.


I wonder what the next Turlock resturant to go under will be? Stay tuned.
 
Sunday, November 23, 2003
 
WHOOPS

I made a slight boo boo in my last post. You see, in algebraic terms, "-2 degrees below zero" would actually be +2. Because for it to be "below" zero, we would subtract it from zero. And 0 - (-2) is actually +2.

Thankfully, we don't use algebra in everyday expressions. At least, I don't.
 
 
FREEZING MY GLUTEUS MAXIMUS OFF

It's -2 below zero right now, and only slightly warmer here in my bedroom. The rest of my house is fine - it's just my bedroom thats just barely above freezing.

I think its geometry. My bedroom is on the second floor, and sticks out the side of the house. So I have three walls that face the "outside" and only one wall that faces the "inside." I think maybe this is why my room looses so much heat. Too much surface area means too much heat bleeding away into the atmosphere.

Curse you, Entropy! Curse you, Second Law of Thermodynamics!
 
Saturday, November 22, 2003
 
INSOMNIA THEATRE

Its 4:09pm, and I just got done watching Denzel Washington in "Devil in a Blue Dress". It's not a bad movie, really. Youre standard run-of-the-mill 1940's-esque detective story. It's also intresting to see a detective story from behind the eyes of a black detective. Most film noir detectives are white, obviously.

All in all, a pretty good story. Not for kids, though.

I do, however, disagree with the amorality presented in the story. It seems to make the case that you should support your "friends", even if they lie, cheat and murder. Other than this gaffe, I'd give the film a B+.
 
Friday, November 21, 2003
 
A SAD DAY FOR US ALL

Our first and only Sizzler here in Turlock has closed down.

What does this mean for the future? Where will middle-class families go to enjoy quality yet reasonably-priced meals in the future?

Suddenly, Turlock seems like a very bleak place to live.
 
 
NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT

Except that I don't have any school until Tuesday. Not that I'm complaining, of course.
 
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
 
HIP HIP HORRAY!

Good news, everybody. Doug Tennapel has put up a message board on his website. Go there, Now. And bask in the joy that is Green Wallpaper.
 
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
 
FREE ....Ummm....EVERYBODY!

I saw a poster today on campus advertising "The Wheels of Justice".
Apparently this is a campaign to generate opposition to the "occupation of
Iraq and Palestine". Strange, really. I thought Iraq and Palestine were being
occupied by two completely different nations. You would think that the protestors would
protest each occupation differently, unless of course, the protestors actually
thought that the US Army is working for Israel, or vice versa. I have a feeling that
they think this way.

In the end, these protestors arent "anti-war" or "anti-occupation".
They are anti-US and anti-Israel. They don't have the will (or the logic) to oppose the
20+ year long Syrian occupation of Lebanon or the (former) Indonesian occupation of East
Timor. Both occupations have been brutal, deadly and flagrant human rights violations. But,
they weren't perpitrated by the "true enemy" - namely the United States. I would have much
more respect for these groups if they could keep their message on target - and if they got
rid of the huge street-puppets.
 
Sunday, November 16, 2003
 
FULL METAL SOFTWARE

So I'm visiting the Army National Guard website, and they promise to give me a free computer game in exchange for my age and email address. No big deal, I assume. I'm a sucker for games, after all, and I figure it wouldn't hurt. But, Oh how it hurts!

The game is called "Guard Force", and I suppose that its meant to make us young folks WANT to join the National Guard. You see, the National Guard does all kinds of things! They rescue civilians who are trapped in floods, they stop floods who threaten civilians, and they threaten civilians who try to stop US. Or so the game tells me. Anyway, besides terrible graphics, horrible gameplay and cheesy sound effects, the game has one, terrifying problem. You see, it's impossibly hard.

At first, I figured that I had the "difficulty" setting on too high. But then I investigated and found out that there is no difficulty setting.

So I'm playing a mission in which I must train milita soldiers (obviously not American milita soldiers) to overthrow their government. Fine. I can live with that. When suddenly, out of the blue, I'm attacked by approx. 50 enemy tanks and 10 enemy helicopters. They wipe me out in seconds. Game over. I've tried again and again, but I'm never able to build up enough forces to fend off the attack. I simply get wiped out, every single time. Now, thats pretty bad - but it gets worse. It happens on every single level. The only level that I won was the "protect civilians from flood" level. And I guess thats only because the flood dosent have any tanks or helicopters.

Remember that this game is supposed to make us WANT to join The Guard. I should write them a letter telling them that I would be happy to join them, but I'm afraid that my buddies and I would be UTTERLY DESTROYED by an avalanche of Iraqi tanks and missiles. I would then explain to them how their game has made me into a pacifist and that I renounce all war, forever. Maybe that will give them pause next time they decide to foist a crappy game on us.

On the other hand, maybe the reasons behind this game are much more sinister? Maybe the secretly shipped a bunch of these games to the Middle East, where they are being eagerly played by young Muslims. These youngins will figure that American forces are easily defeated, and then go and take up arms against the weakling National Guard - only to find that the REAL national guard is much stronger and deadlier than in the game. At least, I hope thats what the Pentagon was thinking when they released this stinker of a game.
 
Saturday, November 15, 2003
 
HE JUST COULDNT STAY AWAY!

This used to be one of my favorite "folk" songs - made popular by the Canadian cartoon that you might remember.

I still like it, but looking back - it's a pretty disturbing song.


Old Mister Johnson had troubles of his own
He had a yellow cat which wouldn't leave its home;
He tried and he tried to give the cat away,
He gave it to a man goin' far, far away.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite;
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

He gave it to a little boy with a dollar note,
Told him for to take it up the river in a boat;
They tied a rope around its neck, it must have weighed a pound
Now they drag the river for a little boy that's drowned.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

He gave it to a man going up in a balloon,
He told him for to take it to the man in the moon;
The balloon came down about ninety miles away,
Where he is now, well I dare not say.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

He gave it to a man going way out West,
Told him for to take it to the one he loved the best;
First the train hit the curve, then it jumped the rail,
Not a soul was left behind to tell the gruesome tale.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

The cat it had some company one night out in the yard,
Someone threw a boot-jack, and they threw it mighty hard;
It caught the cat behind the ear, she thought it rather slight,
When along came a brick-bat and knocked the cat out of sight

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

Away across the ocean they did send the cat at last,
Vessel only out a day and making water fast;
People all began to pray, the boat began to toss,
A great big gust of wind came by and every soul was lost.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

On a telegraph wire, sparrows sitting in a bunch,
The cat was feeling hungry, thought she'd like 'em for a lunch;
Climbing softly up the pole, and when she reached the top,
Put her foot upon the electric wire, which tied her in a knot.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

The cat was a possessor of a family of its own,
With seven little kittens till there came a cyclone;
Blew the houses all apart and tossed the cat around,
The air was full of kittens, and not a one was ever found.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

The atom bomb fell just the other day,
The H-Bomb fell in the very same way;
Russia went, England went, and then the U.S.A.
The human race was finished without a chance to pray.

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea
 
 
AN EPHIPHANY

A thought just struck me as I was sitting down, watching Cable TV.

Shouldn't Cable TV have no commercials?

Think about this - we pay for cable TV with our own money (unless your name is Dan Whitmarsh - cheapskate!). So shouldn't that money go to support the programs? I dimly remember that it used to be that way. Back when cable was young, we had to pay out the nose to get the Disney Channel - but there were no commercials. I was just watching the Disney channel and it looked like they had commercials coming out their ears.

Now, I'm not completely anti-advertising. I realize that the execs need to offset the cost of their fancy new yachts and stupid new "reality" programs. But every time I see a commercial on Cable TV - tv that I pay for - I still feel like I'm being robbed.
 
Friday, November 14, 2003
 
WELL BLOW ME DOWN!

I'd like to say "howdy" to my good friends from the University of South Dakota, who have patronized my website. I'd also like to give a very special Intergalatic "high five" to my friends at NASA.GOV !!!! Thank you for visiting my website, whoever you are.
 
 
EVERYBODY SAY "HI DOUG"!

Doug Tennapel, the creator of Earthworm Jim, Creature Tech, Geeker and a trillion other cool things (and also former resident of Denair, California) has released an album with his friends. At least, I assume they are his friends - I'm assuming that they arent his sworn enemies. The band is called TRUCK, the lead singer is called Doug Tennapel and you can find some songs Here.......my favorite song so far is "My My Truck has died."

"Durango" has some really cool country sounds too.

Almost no back-masking!!!
 
 
FURTHER MADNESS

The Ninth Circut Court of Appeals, the fine folks who brought you "the pledge is unconstitutional" - have now brought you "Home-made Machine guns!!!

Yes folks, the Ninth Circut has ruled, in their gracious infallibility, that Congress cannot stop you from manufacturing your own home-made, fully automatic machine guns. As long as you don't transport them across state lines, of course. Well, that makes me feel safer. At least we can rest in the knowledge that no Oregonian machine guns will be fired on the streets of California.

By the way, did you also know that the Ninth Circut has ruled that Congress may not ban "homemade noncommercial child pornography". Well, as long as its not commercial.

Excuse me while I go heave in the toilet. I'll be back later.
 
Thursday, November 13, 2003
 
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY STUPID

As I'm writing this, ABC is doing an hour long fluff-interview with Britney Spears. Now, I don't have anything against Britney, except for her help in making our nation's 12 year olds dress like prostitutes. But I do object to ABC running a kid-gloves interview with a clueless public figure and calling it "news" (I assume that the interview is being handled by the ABC news division). If I wanted to see an interview, a real one, it would be Condi Rice sitting down with Dan Rather or Ted Koppel and answering some really tough questions - without any heads-up. Or maybe get Howard Dean to sit down and see what he really thinks about the administration - again, without any heads-up or aides sitting a few feet away. Of course, I'm sure we'll get our fair share of political coverage once the '04 race really gets underway. So maybe this time next year we will really enjoy all the harmless, fluff "journalism" going on out there.
 
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
 
EXPLAIN THIS TO ME

So I was watching TV late last night - Cartoon Network to be exact - and an old "Popeye" cartoon from the 40's came on. Popeye is paying a visit to Olive Oyl and her son, Sweatpea. Or is he? Let me explain.

You see, Olive and Popeye arent married. Yet Olive has a son. At least, we are lead to believe that he is her son. And we are lead to believe that Popeye is her "boyfriend". So the question is - who is Sweapea's father? Is it that philandering filth Popeye? Or could the answer be much more sinister? Could Bluto be Sweatpea's father? Mabye thats why he's always causing trouble for Olive and Popeye. He's got to shell out thousands every month in child support while Popeye comes by once in a while, like a bad cold, to keep Olive happy. If I were Bluto, I'd be angry too.

Or maybe the fact that I'm thinking about these things means that all the cold medicine I took has finally given me brain damage. I think so. Off to bed!
 
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
 
ITS A SAD, SAD WORLD

Go to this website and watch the ticker at the top of the page. It shows the most popular word searches on the internet for today (Nov. 11). Be warned, it's not for little kids. Strangely, among all the obvious smut - one of the most popular searches was for Veterans Day. Patriotic smut consumers? We report, you decide.
 
 
WHAT A SATISFYING SOUND

I got my first "Instant Message Spam" just a few minutes ago. Someone wanted to let me know where I could find Latin women of ill repute. Specifically, I could find them on his website. Naturally, I hit the "warn" button and raised his warning rating to 26%. It probably dosen't mean much in the long run....."warning" someone dosen't do much, really. Most of the time it just slows them down or hinders their ability to send mass-IMs. But it is something, and sending a message (pun intended) to these piles of human filth is something that I enjoy. Alot.
 
 
STILL BETTER THAN "EARNEST GOES TO CAMP"

So I saw "Matrix III" today, and it was pretty good. An unexpected ending to be sure - but I think it fit pretty well with the overall story.

POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT

I mean, the humans never had a chance anyway. They lost the war in the first place, and they only continued to exist because the Machines thought that Zion served a useful purpose (to siphon off "discontents" from the Matrix). If Neo hadn't made peace, they would have all been goners (like they had been, many times before apparently.)

Another intresting idea: in the first movie, Morpheus says he thinks the year is "sometime in the 22nd century" or something like that. But nobody is sure, really because they have been at war so long (more than a century!) and everybody from the "original war" was already dead. So apparently the events of the Matrix are taking place about 200 years from now, or so. But then Neo learns that he is the 6th "One". So apparently there have been 6 other "Zions" as well. So what does this mean? It means that the events of The Matrix may actually take place thousands of years in the future, but the humans aren't aware of it (even the "free" humans), because they can only see what's around them, and because - get this - they believe what they have been told (ie, that the war with the machines has only been going on for 100 years or so). So, in a way, the residents of Zion are living in a kind of Matrix, a Matrix in their minds. You might even say that there is no spoon.
 
 
SAD, REALLY

I have a friend. We'll call her "Selma" - we'll call her that because if I used her real name she would implode and turn into a black hole, and possibly destroy the entire planet in the process. Selma, you see, has a problem.

Her problem is that she has never seen "The Matrix". Not just the origional Matrix, but all three movies. She's never seen a single one of them - and, get this - she swears that she never will.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Why do I read Karl's blog? Why do I even bother?" Ha Ha! But what I want you to be really thinking is: "How can this woman not ever see The Matrix? Pashtun villagers have seen bootlegged and dubbed-in-Farsi coppies of ALL 3 movies. How can this modern suburbanite woman not watch them?".

That same question is on the tip of my tongue, fair reader. I think maybe she is One Of Them. I think she was sent by The Machines to try and lull us into a state of false security so they can slowly take over our minds. How do I know this? I don't. Just makes sense, thats all. Everything makes sense in the Matrix, everything. There is no spoon, you see? Perfect sense!

So yeah, I honestly don't know why anyone wouldn't want to see the matrix. (/tongue-in-cheek off)
 
Sunday, November 09, 2003
 
LOVE THOSE CHURCH SIGNS!

Stop whatever you are doing right now and CLICK HERE to make your own church sign. The possibilities are endless.
 
 
UGH

It's 1:22am, my head and body are achey, my stomach is upset and I am very, very cold. But hot at the same time. Blazingly hot. I have a fever, and fevers arent fun.

I'm known to hallucinate when I get fevers. I remember last time quite well. I was laying in bed, half asleep, when I suddenly woke up. I looked down at the creases in my blanket and thought they were mountians. I was flying over the mountains. I quickly settled back into a stupor, and got over it a few days later.

So this is fair warning for those of you who read this blog. Don't be alarmed if I suddenly go off on strange tangents. I get a little weird when I'm ill.

By the way, did you know that the Freemasons run the country? It's true! Them and the vampires from mars. Now I must stop them. Up, up and awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
 
Saturday, November 08, 2003
 
A DAY WITH GRANDMA

Well, today went pretty well. I promised
my grandma that I'd take her out shopping - and shopping we did. Firstly we went to
"Pet Extreme", a pet shop (obviously) - No, an EXTREME pet shop here in town.
She wanted to look at some toys for her pet cockateil. All the animals in that store
look as if they are horribly depressed. Of course, I may be doing an injustice by
giving them anthropomorphic feelings. All I can say is that I've never seen Macaws,
Rabbits and Sharks (yes! Sharks!) look more sullen in my life. Not that I've seen many
sharks, or had the opportunity to talk about their feelings with them.
The main attraction of this particular pet store - as you can guess from above - is
The Shark Tank. It's not a big tank really, probably about as wide and deep as a twin sized
bed. At first glance, you can see two immature sharks swimming around in circles. Around and
around and around and around and around, all day. I understand that Sharks need to do this
so they can keep oxygen passing above their gills - if they stopped moving they would
suffocate and die. But still, it is a little depressing to see these two sharks running
around an aquatic racetrack for the rest of their lives. Not that I'm too sympathetic,
mind you. I realize that this shark's larger cousins wouldn't think twice about making me
into McKarl Nuggets with a side of bloody McKarl fries. Also, I'm not a Vetranarian, but
it looked like one of the sharks had a nasty skin infection running down it's side. I hope
the Pet Store would take as much care of it's wildlife as a professional zoo, but somehow I
doubt it.

After we finished at the pet store, grandma and I went over to the Golden
China resturant here in town. The food there is pretty good, but after I came home I went
out again right away to buy some Pepto-Bismol. Hint hint.

Done there. Then we walked
right next door to Save Mart (which grandma continues to call "Save-On" - the name of the
store in San Jose, where she's from). We puttered around there for a while, grandma shopped
while I bought some Old Spice cologne and aftershave. Hopefully Pastor Brad will appricate
the fact that I will smell good for church tommorow. I also saw my friend Scotty at Save Mart (he works
there). I saw him as I was walking through the "Employees Only" door to the back room, looking for their "Public" washroom.
He was sitting at a makeshift table, talking with one of his coworkers while eating some
cheetoes. Ah, the joys of having a job.

Well, anyway, that was my day. Hope you all had
a good Saturday too. Also pray for me that I'll get over this cold soon. It's a real downer.
 
 
G'DAY MATE!

Once again, I'd like to say "G'day" to my Australian visitors - whoever you are. Email me sometime! I love to hear from all my visitors.
 
 
THIS IS WHAT LAZINESS DOES TO YOU

I've suddenly realized that I havent shaved in more than a week. I've probably forgotten because I've been sick - so haven't had much time to "do the hygene thing". I walked into the bathroom just now and saw Grizzly Adams looking back at me in the mirror. Hopefully it wasint a hallucination.
 
 
CLEVER TITLE #4930.344

It's 2:06 am and a misty fog has found its way to Turlock. I'm sitting here, sipping a cup of hot chicken broth, still nursing the head cold that I've had for more than a week now. Thank you, Lord, for my life. Thank you for fog, for chicken broth and for achey arms and legs. Thank you for letting me live, even when I deserve to die. Thanks for the hot water, and the soft mattresses.
 
Friday, November 07, 2003
 
DOUBLE WOW

I'd also buy these, if they promised me that I wouldn't turn into some kind of reptillian mutant.
 
 
WOW

Thats pretty expensive for just two "hamburger" patties, but if I had the money, I'd get it - just to see what it tastes like. (Probably like chicken, I'm guessing)
 
 
WELL!

They better be pretty darn good hotdogs for that kind of money. Thats about $1.56 per weiner, for you math types.
 
 
AS HOMER WOULD SAY: "MMM...MEAT LOG...

I dont really know what this is, but don't it look tasty?
 
 
I THINK I GET IT

So men really don't need to set out on shopping expiditions, because we pretty much already know what we want. How true. This may singlehandedly explain the whole Amazon.com thingy. I mean, look at their clothing store, you can't exactly try those boxer shorts on. So you just find your size and buy the pattern you like. No tedious mall walking, no crying babies, nothing.

By the way, Amazon is now offering a "Gourmet Food" beta along with their "sporting goods" beta. Now we can only wait until they get "Junk food teleported directly into your bedroom" beta.
 
 
HORRAY FOR PEPTO BISMOL!

I've added Kevin's blog to my blogroll on the right. I figure since he blogs, and since he's a member of my church, and since he comments on my website - the least I could do is provide a handy dandy link. So there ya go.
 
Thursday, November 06, 2003
 
GRRRRR

You may have noticed that the "banner ad" above my website randomly searches words in my blog, and then provides links to companies that may provide similar services. For example, if I write an entry about "Coca Cola", it'll show an ad for - you guessed it! - Coke! So imagine my surprise when my banner ad above started advertising "smokeless tobbaco!" and "perscription medications to your door!". I'd almost be willing to pay Blogger to get rid of such vile ads. If I had the money, that is.
 
 
PENCILS DOWN

So I asked this question, "What kind of department
store would men shop at?"

One of my friends says video games, and I can agree. I've
probably spent more on various computer/video games in my life than G.W. Bush spends on
Aircraft carriers. My friend Kevin, on the other hand, says that the whole idea of shopping
is antithetical to Maleness. I agree too. Men don't get together and go out for "shopping trips"
with each other. But men DO shop. Although it does seem to have more of a purpose than
female shopping. For those of you who have interacted with the Female Species, you will
recall how it's not unusual for them to try on every single item in the store, only to
find more items in the next store to try on, ad infintium.

So besides video games, what
do men buy? Being a man, I should know myself. I think the answer may partly lay in Books.
Judging from the small mountian of Amazon.com packages piling up in my garage, I would say
that this particular man buys alot of books. And Software. Agree/disagree?
 
 
G'DAY, MATRIX

So I guess all my friends and I are going
to see The Matrix next week. My sister already saw it and said it was a pretty
good movie but with a horrible, terrible no-good ending. We shall see. Speaking
of all things Australian (The Matrix was mostly filmed Down Under), we went to
Outback Steakhouse for dinner tonight. I had the brased Prime Rib with some
cheesy potato soup. It was pretty darn good, and to top it all off - our waitress
was an Authentic Australian Person. It's intresting, because Modesto isn't exactly
known for being a center of international immigration. So you wonder what drove
her to take up residence there. Anyway, why do they even call it "Prime Rib"? It's more
like "Prime Side of Bleeding Fat" - but it was delicious anyway. Rafael, you have no
idea what you're missing out on, man.
 
 
VERY NICE

I got out of Psychology class today with the happy
thought that because of Veterans day, I won't have anymore classes until next
Wendsday night. This leaves the next week or so to generally do nothing and loaf
around. Ahh....the sweet sound of doing nothing in particular. This is what dreams
are made of.
 
 
Pretty darn funny

I ran a search engine over my website just a few minutes ago, and some of my very own "quotes" are pretty intresting when removed from their origional context. Enjoy.


"it's so"

"but honestly, i've never been to enthuisatic abouthome repair"

"i honestly don't know myseslf"

"period."

"anyway, the pancakes were good."

"give him a hug next time you see him."

"hopefully we can find some of these kids."

"until then, vive le aspirin!"
 
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
 
Really Sad

Someone who attended my mother's church, Calvary Chapel
Turlock, died on Saturday. He was involved in a fatal plane crash at our local airport.
Cessna and other "Ultralights" are dangerous aircraft. My high school biology teacher, who
was a Navy pilot in Vietnam, said that he would never fly those airplanes for any reason.
Remember that if you ever consider flying lessons.


The Mall!

I
went to The Mall with my mom and sister today. Blazed a trail to Waldenbooks but couldnt
find anything good to read. Mom spent most of her time at the Lancome makeup counter in
Macy's. I felt like a fish outta water in that place....it's so.....girly. I asked the
Lancome lady if she had anything that would highlight my 5 o'clock shadow, or something that would define
my chubby chin. Ha ha! Seriously though, why don't men
have a section of the Mall that is as welcoming as the makeup counter is to women? Maybe
we do? Maybe it's the Power Tools section. But honestly, I've never been to enthuisatic about
home repair.

So guys, answer me this....if we men had a department store all to ourselves,
what would it sell? I honestly don't know myseslf.
 
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
 
BUT HE DIDNT INHALE

The "Reverend" Al Sharpton recently said that he has never smoked pot.




Yeah, right.
 
 
SNOW! (ALMOST)

According to my Pastor's website (and his website never lies) it's about 3 degrees celcius. So, if it were 3 degrees cooler, and raining - which it might soon - it would SNOW! Yes, snow here in Sea-level Turlock. What a joyous sight that would be. Of course, it would only be less than a centemeter, but still - there's nothing like snow on a cold winters day to brighten the spirits.
 
 
VERY BAD

It turns out that my cousin has full blown malignant cancer in his throat. Ladies and gentlemen, Tobbaco is very, very, very bad for you. Don't EVER smoke, chew or snuff it. Period.
 
 
INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF OLD PEOPLE

I was sitting in IHOP a few hours ago. I called up my friend Kent to see if he wanted to share a cup of coffee - IHOP is just down the street from his house, you see - but sadly, he was too busy doing his AP homework. Honestly, I'll never understand how that Swedish work ethic can infect all my friends but not me. Anyway, the pancakes were good.
 
 
SICK AGAIN

I still have a head cold, and my head cold still has me. I took some NyQuil a few hours ago, fell asleep and am now fully awake. Thankfully, school dosent start until the afternoon. Otherwise I'd be in big, big trouble.
 
Saturday, November 01, 2003
 
THREE CHEERS FOR SEASONAL CHANGE!

I looked out my window early this morning and saw some of the tulie fog that Turlock is so famous for. That means that it's now officially Fallter. You see, here in Turlock our winter and our spring are combined. We just have one big, long cold and damp season called "Fallter". Personally, I LOVE the cold weather. It makes me feel alive.

My Pastor, on the other hand, is going to have a hard time coping for the next few months. Give him a hug next time you see him.
 
 
HOLY CRAP!

Did anybody else see that attorney get shot on TV? It happened right outside an LA Courthouse, just as the cameras were rolling. I couldn't believe that they would show that on TV. Thankfully, the attorney is okay and the shooter is behind bars. But man, that was pretty messed up.
 
"Never be afraid to doubt... and doubt in order that you may end in believing the truth."

"Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good." (Job 34.4)

Name:
Location: Turlock, California, United States

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook." -William James, Principles of Psychology





Click for Turlock, California Forecast

  • Rev. Dr. Brad Boydston
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