The Karl Show
Man, I hate the Oscars. I really do hate
the oscars. Never before have so many selfish, greedy people gathered together in a single place to give each other awards. That's what it is, really. Just Hollywood folk giving each other awards for making movies that they like. I think all of my friends should get together and give each other awards.
"The Award for Best Gamer goes to, Leafar!", then he can come on stage and give a big speech. Then, "The Award for Best Mathmatician goes to Kevin!". Everybody cheers when he gives his speech. "The Award for best Youth Pastor goes to Dan Whitmarsh!" Hoorah! Everybody comes away winning.
For once in my life, I'm actually glad that I'm doing Math homework instead of watching TV. Thats
how much I hate the Oscars.
It's pretty funny whenever they play a Tarintino movie on network TV. It's funny because they dub over all the swear words and replace them with less offensive, but practically meaningless phrases. For example, in a single minute of Jackie Brown, you can hear "Hey Mother fluker!" or "Tell that fartin' Nubian that I aint got time for his stuff." or even "I hate that mother-rider!"
I think it would be better, and perhaps more "realistic" to just bleep out the offending words like they used to do on the radio. But then again, Tarintino uses swear words so liberally that whole segments of his movies would be nothing but a five minute long "bleep sound".
Anyway, Jackie Brown was pretty good.
My sister just got back from the 10'oclock showing of "The Passion". She said it was sold out, along with all the other showings earlier in the day. It looks like all the controversy around it made for some tidy profits! As for the merits of the film, my sister said "It was good" and left it at that. She also said a ton of the people in the theatre were crying. Naturally, my sister didn't cry (this makes sense if you know her personally). I think I'll tease her from now on about "not crying when Jesus died". Yup, we have a good relationship.
Meanwhile, Jackie Brown
is on TV right now. I think it's a pretty hip movie, so I'll give it a watch.
A PERSONAL NOTE
It's been a few days since I've written in this blog,
mostly thanks to my homework load. I'm actually taking more-than-full-time Credits, so I have
more homework than you can possibly imagine. My mom says I shouldn't complain, because she knows
young people my age who are taking the same number of classes and working two jobs
to support themselves and their kids. Ouch. Makes me feel like a freeloader.
Anyway, I'd like to take
a few minutes to talk about my Faith. Or, "His Faith", since it's not really mine. Lately I've found
myself laying in bed at some ungodly hour, staring out my window and realizing that I haven't
read The Bible in weeks. Haven't even cracked it open.
Falling away is a strange thing to realize,
and a hard thing to fix. It's strange because you never notice it when it happens. One day
youre Mr. Super Christian and a few weeks later you're a hellacious heathen who wouldn't know
God from a hole in the ground. It's difficult to understand how this happens, except to realize
that Christians are humans too, and suffer from the mundane (and sometimes frightful) weaknesses
that the rest of Humanity lives with.
Anyway, about the Bible: I had just now realized
that I haven't read it in weeks, but I couldn't figure out why, until the answer struck me in
the face. You see, I havent been reading the Bible because I'm afraid of God's Word. I'm scared of
God and His Majesty, I'm scared of His Glory, His perfection. I'm scared of His love for me, scared
of His Mercy and His Discipline. I'm frightened of being His Son, and of Him being my Father.
if you could, please pray for me, a misrable and frightened sinner in the hands of a loving God.
I'm back down to about 12 hits per day now. I guess all my "Mexico" blogging must have attracted a lot of viewers. I'd like to welcome my new friends from StateFarm Co.
and University of Texas at Dallas
. Whoever you are, thanks for dropping by.
I've been learning some interesting things in my Theatre class lately. Did you ever notice that Sitcoms tend to have a similar plot structure every single episode?
It's called the "ABC rule". The first plot (the "A" plot) is the Main Story of the episode, while the B and C plots are auxillary plots that somehow get woven into the main plot. I was amazed when I heard this, because suddenly Prime Time TV makes sense. Every show from The Simpsons to Friends uses this plot formula. Pretty neat when you think about it.
Anyway, I need to start on a five page essay that's due tommorow.
Whats that you say? I should have done it earlier? No! It's not my fault, really! She gave us the assignment yesterday. Mean ol' prof!
Wish me luck! Or wish that a gigantic meteor would fly down and destroy the world!
So, yeah, I have homework. Tons of it.
I'm not worried though, I've gotten through most of it, and I seem to be caught up in all my classes, so I think I'm doing pretty well so far. Not bad for the first week of school.
Also, we went to Stockton last night for a little shindig with our Covenant Brethren (and Sister-en?) up there. It was pretty fun, lots of pizza but no coffee. Kinda strange when you consider that they were supposed to be opening up a Coffee Shop.
LOOK OUT, BIN LADEN!
Our Supreme Commander has some pretty mad kung-fu skillz.
Since I have a lot of homework this weekend, I think I'll just leave you guys with some Croutching Tiger-Hidden Rumsfeld pics. Enjoy.
He is The One!
See you all on Monday!
In the comments section below, my friend Kevin says that I should report my Bio prof for completely dismissing the word "design" from his biology class (.i.e "the cell structure of this fungi is designed very well...", etc.)
I suppose that I could protest, and I could make a point or two. After all, by intentionally leaving out the word "design", he is intentionally leaving out The Designer - or, at least, a presumed Designer. I think my prof would argue that there is no physical evidence of a Designer, and therefore Science must act on the assumption that there is no Designer at all. I think this is wrong for two reasons:
1)the "physical evidence" of a Designer would naturally be Designed Things. Even my prof seemed to think that our cells are designed - before he corrected himself, that is.
2)Science assumes the existence of many things (like Dark Energy, or even Anti Gravity particles), not because we have direct evidence of them, but because we can infer their existence from looking at their effect on objects that we can see.
So yeah, I could bring those objections up, but I have a feeling that I would simply be blasted by every right-thinking Professor and student from here to Timbuktu. People who "don't accept" evoloution are portrayed as closed-minded ultra-religious bigots who want to bring back Gallileo and burn him at the steak. Even though I really do believe in evolvution, that's how I would be portrayed in any kind of debate - and that's not something that I want.
Maybe I'm being a tad cowardly, but I think I'd rather sit quitely and get a passing grade than stir any controversy right now.
I got my first hit from Guatemala today. I bet it probably had something to do with my spanish-titled post below. Well, Mr. Jose Q. Guatemalan, welcome to my website! I hope you stay, even if you don't understand what I'm saying.
"I HATE THAT WORD"
I got my first glimpse at some of my spring classes today. They look pretty interesting, so I'll be sure to keep you all updated as I go along.
My Biology prof had an interesting Freudian slip today during the lecture. We were discussing "homeostasis" - the amazing ability of living things to regulate their internal environment. The prof said "Our bodies were designed very well". Then he stopped himself and said "Ha! I said "designed". I hate that word. Our bodies have actually evolved very well."
Stay tuned, folks.
WHAT A WASTE
I was looking at the fancy dinner menu for the cruise ship that my parents took, when my eyes fell upon the drink menu.
"Wow," I said "a ninety-five dollar bottle of scotch!"
Then I looked closer and saw that it was actually $95 a glass.
Wasted money, I say.
"Mi hijo es muy grande."
....Thats what my mom said to the person selling necklaces in Peurto Vallarta. I respect the fact that she wants to buy me a Manly Man Necklace that will fit around my Oxen-like neck, but when your own mom says that you are "muy grande", it may be time to loose some weight.
On another note, I saw the video of my parent's outing in Vallarta. For a small fee, the cruise line will actually send someone to video tape your excursion for you, just in case you're too poor to own a camcorder (like my family). I think it's a pretty smart idea, as long as you don't mind a stranger following you around all day.
From the looks of the video, there are apparently three types of people who go on cruises:
2)young folks with kids
My parents were in category #2, with the vast majority being in #1 and a surprising number of #3's. It looks like they had an amazing time, eating lunch on the beach and sipping beer and Limeaid. They said the food was really good, and authentic. Some Indian lady made all their tortillas by hand, and even the lime aid was apparently home made.
Also, it was intresting to see that everybody drinks bottled water, even in the tourist areas.
Anyway, I'll have some more observations soon. And hopefully the phrase "middle aged lesbians" will bring some Google trafic to my blog. We'll see.
On a disturbing note, before Mom and the kids left the ship, the captian warned them that the local resturants wouldnt mind serving tequila to my little brother (he's 13). My brother was excited, my mom less so.
Mom, dad and the kids just got back from Mexico, and they are absoutely exhausted. I don't blame them, they spent about eight hours driving back from Long Beach today, not to mention the grueling unload/unpack routine. I'm glad they're home, and from the sound of it, I guess they had a really good time. My mom said that she enjoyed Cabo San Lucas so much that she is willing to fly there on plane for her next vacation. This is really incredible if you know my mom - who has an extreme airplane phobia. I didn't get much time to talk to my parents before they went to bed just now, but here are some observations that I could glean from them about Mexico:
1)Mexico is really fun.
2)Mexico is really poor.
3)The tequila is really, really strong
4)People will try to sell you stuff while you're drunk
5)There is lots of abject "Old Testamenty" poverty everywhere.
6)Everybody there knows that you have money, so they treat you like movie stars.
7)Cabo San Lucas is more "refined" and "tourist friendly" than Peurto Vallarta or Mazatlan
8)Mazatlan looks bombed out, like some kind of a war zone. I told my mom that it's probably not too far from the truth.
Anyway, that's all I could discover before they dozed off to sleep. I'll interrogate them more tommorow, and post their stories here (and hopefully post some pictures eventually.)
I also got my first hit from South Africa today. I don't know who you people are, or what phrase you googled to get here, but welcome. I think.
DUPA-DUPA-DOOP INSPECTOR GADGET - WHO HOOO!
Raise your had if you remember inspector gadget.
Now raise your hand if you ever wanted to see Dr. Claw's face.
*shoots hand in the air frantically*
Well folks, you can see Dr. Claw's face online. Just google "the face of Dr. Claw". If you're anything like me, and all the other children of the 80's, you'll be dissapointed. It just....dosen't look like we thought it would. Oh well.
ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN
.....what I mean by "blessedly single".
It's true that I don't have a mate, a "helper" as God said in Genesis, a companion and woman friend. Often times my singleness hurts me in a way - mostly because I don't feel good enough to approach and make friends with women around me (not that there are many around me anyway). But it does hurt sometimes, to be lonely on a Friday night. This loneliness is especially hard on a day like Valentines day. I think you can understand where I'm coming from.
But it's not all bad. My sister and her fiancee' just walked out the door to eat at a fancy Italian resturant tonight - a meal that will probably cost them at least a hundred bucks. My sister also bought him a gift certificate to a local tatoo parlor (not cheap either), and her fiancee bought her a gold and diamond necklace (certianly not cheap). Before the day is over, they'll probably both spend a couple hundred dollars on each other, and probably use their credit cards more than once. So you see, there are some financial advantages to being single.
But I think there is an even greater advantage too. While it's comforting and, yes, even fun to be in love, it's also exhausting. Even before marriage, a man and woman exist almost as a single person, and this transformation is (hopefully) completed at the Altar. Everything
that is done must be done together. Loans, cars, houses, food, dinner, jobs, moving, socks, underware - everything must be agreed upon together. Man and Woman truly become One Flesh in marriage, just as the Bible says.
So you can see why it's not easy. The Man must choose his job carefully and work very hard in order to support his family. He has a responsibility to them, a duty to feed them and care for them. Anything less and he would be a "deadbeat dad", and rightfully deserve scorn.
So, in other words, I'm not ready for that. As great as it would be to share my life with someone, it's also a challenge, an enormous challenge. So, for now, I remain blessedly single - able to make my own choices, live my own life and do what I want.
Until, of course, Mrs. Naslund appears....
HAPPY LOVE DAY!
If you're like me (but you're probably not), you're probably wondering where the whole idea of St. Valentines day comes from. Despite popular myth, it was NOT invented by Hallmark (although I don't deny that The Hallmark Holiday Creation Company has made quite a profit from it.)
Here is a little blurb from the History Channel to enlighten us all:So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
Other stories also mention that duing the Middle Ages, Feburary 14th was commonly assumed to be the day that birds in the wild would choose their mates for the coming year. In any event, even if you are like myself and are blessedly single this year, I wish you a very happy St. Valentines day - and many more to come.
SICK AS A DAWG
That's about all there is to say. I'm sick. Sick as a dog with leprosy on top of tuburcolosis. Sick as Michael Jackson's mind. Sick as a diseased prisoner in a hospital on Sick Island suffering from Sickness. Sick sick.
In the meantime, I'm now getting about sixteen hits per day, which is about six up from my usual ten. I don't know who you extra people are, and I don't know why you're here, but as Dave Barry would say: by all means - stay away from my house. Thank you.
Its Cheesus, The Cheesy Jesus!
As Homer Simpson would say, its sacrilicious.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
Long story short: I bought a forty dollar game
for my computer, and it sucks. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I am a hopeless impulse shopper. I never think that "maybe these forty bucks can be better spent elsewhere." No. I must have everything, and I must have it now. The story of my life.
It's a burden to bear, for sure.
I had a pretty good time with my friend and Spiritual Pontifex Maximus today. His name is Dan, in case you were wondering, and you can read his blog by clicking on "The Dan Show" to your right.
We had lunch at a local coffee shop/deli/florists, and it was pretty good. It's one of the few places that I know of that still makes Italian Sodas, which are The Drinks of The Gods, as far as I'm concerned. Afterwards, we went walking around campus, talking about stuff and solving every human problem that has ever faced mankind. Not bad for a days work, or lack thereof.
So, yeah, I had a good day.
I HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT
WHAT THE HELL?!?!
I opened my AOL Instant Messenger program just now, and I was greeted with this "news" headline:"Iraqis Want
al-Qaida Help to Drive U.S. Out"
It makes it sound like the People of Iraq are calling for Al-Qaida to come and fight our troops. Can you think of any other meaning for that title?
Well, if you actually read the article you would see that .U.S forces captured one guy in Iraq
who had a memo on him saying that "Al-Qaida should attack Americans and Shi'aites".
Thats it.That's it.
There are no Iraqi uprisings calling for Usama Bin Laden to liberate Iraq from the bloodthirsty Americans, no Editorials in Iraqi newspapers calling for the same. Nothing. But according to AOL/Time Warner, the Iraqis "...want al-Qaida to help drive .U.S out".
I don't think that AOL is apart of some kind of grand conspiracy to undermine the war effort, mind you, but I do think the Headline writers down at AOL could use a lesson or two in "journalistic integrity".
Also, in other news, I've gotten my first hits from servers in Japan and Iceland
. The headline in tomorrow's newspaper?
""JAPANESE, ICELANDERS WANT KARL HELP TO DRIVE .A.O.L OUT."
I finally figured out what an RSS Feed is.
It's actually an XML-encoded version of your website that can be downloaded into an "RSS Reader"
. It's actually pretty clever, really. So instead of searching all around the internet for different blogs, you can just download all your favorite blogs onto your desktop when you log on. Clever!
But nobody I know uses an RSS Reader to view their friend's blogs, so I think I'll get rid of my RSS tags. It was a short, but sweet love affair, oh my XML damsel.
INSERT WITTY TITLE HERE
As you can see in the lower right corner of my blog, I am trying to start an RSS feed on this website. I have no idea what it is, but I want to be cool and have one.
More updates later.
LET'S BE SERIOUS
I'm going to talk about Hollywood and race relations for a minute. Normally, a post like this would be filled with my happy brand of biting sarcasm, but I'm going to be very serious for a minute or two. Please bear with me.
My sister went to see "Barbershop 2
" tonight with her boyfriend. She said it was pretty good (better than Barbershop 1, in her opinion). She also said - almost as an aside - that she was the only white person in the theatre (her boyfriend is Mexican). Now, you're probably asking yourself why I care about this.
I care because it seems to me that, in at least some respects, us 21st Century Americans tend to segregate ourselves. Hollywood makes "black movies" for "black" people. Of course, some would point out that there arent really any "white" movies to speak of - however, after seeing "Legally Blonde 2
", I would have to disagree. Perhaps even more insidiously, largely "white" films like Legally Blonde are passed off as being "general audience" films, something that people from all ethnicities can enjoy, while nobody pretends that Barbershop and Friday After Next
are for "white" folks.
I realize that I am stepping into a sensitive area here, but I think this is an issue that needs to be talked about. It's really something that's always bothered me, even when I was a little kid.
I remember watching Saturday Morning Cartoons and seeing advertisements for "Baby Kenya" - an African American baby doll. Of course, the two child actors who starred in the commercial were both African Americans - and to me, even at that young age that we were being told that "black" dolls were for black children, and white dolls were for white children.
Maybe I'm just blowing smoke here - maybe I just "don't get it", but I'd like to know why we box ourselves in the way that we do.
WHAT PHILOSOPHY ARE YOU?This is a pretty neat little test.
(And short, too!). Needless to say, I think my results were pretty consistent. My "top two" are both ancient Christian thinkers, and that's not very surprising.
1. Augustine (100%)
2. Aquinas (76%)
Try it out for yourself and report back here, soldier.
Lrak, He Who Dances with Elves
Thats my Middle Earth name, of course.
So I just finished reading the first volume of "The Lord of the Rings", namely, "The Fellowship of the Ring". It was great. NO. Better than great. Superb.
Or better than Superb. Fantastic. Awe-inspiring. Or maybe Earth-shattering.
Words don't express the sheer perfection that is Lord of The Rings. If I were an alien reading this book for the first time, I would probably think it was the Holy Book of some long forgotten religion, or the Epic History of ancient heroes. It's that good.
Meanwhile, my sister is in the living room watching "Dirty Dancing".
Some people just have no imagination.
I bought the books I need for the spring semester today. The total came to $165. Now I think I'm beginning to understand Communism.
Ha ha! I kid! But seriously, thats a lot of money. Speaking of which, have you noticed that my blog seems to be a platform for my rants about money, or the lack thereof? I think I need a job. Or money. Yeah. Money would be better.
Anyway, I'm reading through the first chapter of my biology book, and I think I've found a doozie. Not exactly a mistake, but technically not true. Here it is:
[from a section discussing "producers, consumers, decomposers, etc.] "In time, all of the energy that the plants originally captured from the sun's rays returns to the environment..."
No. "All" of the energy does not return to the environment. That's agains the 2nd law of thermodynamics. If that statement were true, we would live in a pretty strange world.
Or is it true? Am I wrong? (help me out here, Kevin). Everything in the universe looses energy through friction and heat - but does that count as "going back into the environment?" Maybe in Physics, but in the context of biology, I would say "no".
But then again, I'm a twenty year old college freshman, so don't take my "scientific" thoughts too seriously.
Well folks, it looks like I'm going to get a lot of exercise this spring. You see, ever since I quit my job at Covenant Village, I've been - shall we say - poor
. Now, this isnt a bad thing, really. I still have plenty of food and shelter, thanks to my parents, but I havent had money for anything else. And I mean anything
So try to imagine my surprise when I discovered that my next car insurance payment is due on March 10th. I wont have enough money to pay for it, and my parents wont pay for it either (I don't blame them at all). So it looks like I'll be walking to school unless I can find a job between now and March, which is unlikely.
The upside, of course, is that I'll get plenty of exercise when the weather is good, and probably loose some weight.
It won't be easy, but then again, life never is.
Well, the final is over, and I think I did ok. Then again, I thought that I did ok on the last test that I took, and I got a D- on that one. So it'll be a few weeks before I figure out what my final grade is, but I'm hopeful that I at least passed the class. I'm also very happy that I have the next two weeks until Spring semester classes start - and my whole family leaves for Mexico this saturday, leaving my sister and I to watch over the homestead.
In Gaming related news: My little brother bought "Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind" a few days ago. It's a little slow on my computer, but I think the game still holds up. Gameplay and graphics are pretty good - but, man, you gotta walk a long, long, LONG time just to get from city to city. I guess that helps to make the game feel a little bit more "real", at least, as "real" as a game with Elfs can get.
Naturally, my little bro is being a jerk and only letting me play it after he finishes his usual four-hour-Morrowind-marathon every day after school. The worst part, I think, is that my brother dosent follow the missions. He just goes from town to town, stealing, looting and pillaging whatever he needs. Then he sells his stolen booty to some shopkeeper - then ROBS THE SHOPKEEPER
to get back everything he just sold, and whatever gold the shopkeeper has left.
I asked my little bro why he does this. His response? "It's easier than working."
Ladies and gentlemen, thanks to Morrowind and my brother, I've discovered the General Theory of Crime.
GOOD NEWS - SORTA
Well, I got back one of my Very Important Projects today (see "Update V" below), and thankfully, I got a "A-/B+". This is good news, because it offsets the "D-" that I got on my last test. The test that I failed was only worth 12.5 percent of my grade, while the project that got handed back today was worth around 25 percent. This is very good news, and I thank God for giving me the intelligence to pull through on this project.
And now for the "Sorta" bad news.
I'm still not "out of the woods" yet. I have another 25% Project due tommorow, and Wendsday is the Final. The project due tommorow is more or less done (thankfully), but I still think I could put some finishing touches on it. As for the final, I will be studying hard from now until Wendsday afternoon. My friend Leafar says that I can do it, and I think so too. It's just going to be quite a challenge.
It's really coming down to the wire, folks! Stay tuned!!!
Selma, a friend of mine, told me that my posts have sounded a little "sassy" lately. This is probably true. The History class that I've been taking has been rough (in soooo many ways), in fact, I'm working on the last project right now (it's about 1am).
Today is the last "real" class day and lecture. Wendsday is The Final. I used to believe that I was going to breeze through this class. Now I'm not so sure. My bad score on my last test has really demoralized me, and I'm not positive that I can deliver for this project, let alone the final. This whole thing is causing me quite a bit of anxiety right now.
Thus my More-UnChristian-than-usual attitude. I apologise for not being my regular happy self, but this class is really a headache.
And I mean migrane.